This list of the funniest Facebook statuses consists mainly of puns – a play on words which makes people think one thing but actually it means quite the opposite. Puns play a huge role in comedy on TV (well the type of comedy I like) and when you see these little snippets in people’s Facebook status message it always makes you laugh! Check them out:

What are the funniest Facebook statuses of all time?

Funniest status update 1 – Naughty but nice

Example: I think sex is better than logic, but I can’t prove it.

I obviously can’t comment on the truth behind this statement, but it’s always funny to see a logic flaw mixed in with something a little naughty or racy! It’s much more interesting and fun to make someone laugh with your funny Facebook status than be completely direct and crude.

Funniest status update 2 – Keep it really mixed

Example: A closed mouth gathers no foot.

I didn’t study English at University (or at any point in my life past kindergarten), so I do not profess myself to be some kind of grammatical expert…however Facebook (and especially status messages) are the reason behind more people using mixed metaphors than ever before. I realize that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to who invented the idioms and sayings of the world, but every day it seems another user massacres the English language in a way that should never be allowed. This example takes their idiocy and highlights it – and makes a funny point too!

Funniest status update 3 – Naughty but naughty (well, not really!)

Example: Chastity is curable, if detected early.

This funny Facebook status reminds me of my days at High School, when we would try to trick people into saying something foolish and then laugh at them. I didn’t have many friends, as you can probably guess. Anyway, it’s a funny joke – and naughty Facebook statuses always get a lot of ‘likes’ and comments, so go for it!

Funniest status update 4 – Dirty tricks

Example: I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

This sort of joke leaves little room for imagination, although the three seconds it takes for people to work it out will mean that you can gloat (for a very limited period). It conjures up images of a fat, old mechanic in a redneck US town, making excuses for his shoddy work. Well it does to me, anyway.

Funniest status update 5 – Show your flaws!

Example: There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.

The unfortunate truth about this is that I am one of the people in the third group. For real. If logic flaws make a good Facebook message, then this one is their king. I’ve seen this so many times that I’m starting to try to keep count of them just so that I can make a new website devoted to this Facebook status’s followers. We’ll see how it pans out.

Ok well, there are some of the greatest Facebook statuses of all time! As I said before, sometimes people ask me what is my favorite status of all time, and I tell them that one day I will reveal all – but suffice to say that it is not on this page (although these ones are all brilliant). I hope you enjoyed them anyway, and I look forward to you returning soon for more update message goodness! Don’t forget to add yourself to our RSS feed followers or leave a comment with your favourite Facebook statuses (and what you think should be included in the next list of the greatest Facebook statuses of all time!).

So I think we should look at some puns – witty Facebook status updates which will make people giggle when they read your status feed. These aren’t difficult to think up, and you can find lots of lists online. Here are some examples to get you started:

Funny Facebook status number 1 – The topical pun

Example: Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery

You know the little pink bunny from the Energizer commercials, right? The one who is always banging his drum and can bang his drum much much much longer than everyone else because of the power he has inside his back (those power cells really do last longer than the competition!). Well, battery also means ‘beating’ someone, and so it would be pretty funny if he were charged with that crime! It would also be funny if you put it as your Facebook status update.

Funny Facebook status number 2 – Tragic comedy

Example: When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I must say I’m a big fan of black comedy and tragic jokes, and this one is one of the all time classics! There is nothing better (and no better way to make your Facebook friends and contacts laugh) than to evoke a feeling of sympathy (“Oh no! Your Grandfather died?” and then bring the comedy straight after (“WHAT?!? HE WAS DRIVING??!!”). It’s a foolproof way of making people giggle, and an hilarious Facebook status.

Funny Facebook status number 3 – Truism

Example: There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

They say ‘ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer’ – but I don’t really believe this is true. Stupid people are given way too much of a pass in society today, and now you can use your funny Facebook status to stand up against their tyranny! Any sort of true statement which people will agree with (and if they don’t agree, you can safely assume that they themselves are one egg short of a picnic basket) makes a very funny Facebook status message.

Funny Facebook status number 4 – Medical joke #1

Example: I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Everyone needs to visit their doctor from time to time, and jokes about visiting the medicial practitioner are some of the oldest in the world (doctor, doctor!). This type, however, is the kind that will make people laugh out loud because of their reality and wit. As I’ve said before, any type of pun in a Facebook status makes people click ‘like’ very quickly (if they understand it), and it’s even better sometimes if they don’t understand it and then make dumb comments to make themselves look bad!

Funny Facebook status number 5 – Medical joke #2

Example: Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

You should never look a gift-horse in the mouth (not even a trojan horse?!) – but some things should serve as a reminder to you in everyday life. If you go in to your local doctor’s surgery and the plants are dead, you don’t really want him operating on your abdomen or trying to give you some plastic surgery, do you? I didn’t think so. Better to do a check around before you sit down in the waiting room – and by passing this classic comedy advice on to your friends, you’re almost guaranteeing a response.

OK that’s all the funny Facebook statuses we have for now, remember keep checking back for more advice, ideas and tips from status update HQ! If you find a funny Facebook status that you want to share with us, write it in the comments!