Posts Tagged ‘message’

What are the funniest Facebook statuses of all time?

The greatest Facebook statuses of all time are the ones that have been used the most, but even when you see them again and again you still find them interesting, romantic, witty, shocking or even just funny. I have brought together a group of five Facebook statuses which, when you read them, will make you laugh out loud OR YOUR MONEY BACK! Ok, you probably weren’t going to send me any money, but still…I think you’d be hard pressed to not find these guys a little humourous!

This list of the funniest Facebook statuses consists mainly of puns – a play on words which makes people think one thing but actually it means quite the opposite. Puns play a huge role in comedy on TV (well the type of comedy I like) and when you see these little snippets in people’s Facebook status message it always makes you laugh! Check them out:

What are the funniest Facebook statuses of all time?

Funniest status update 1 – Naughty but nice

Example: I think sex is better than logic, but I can’t prove it.

I obviously can’t comment on the truth behind this statement, but it’s always funny to see a logic flaw mixed in with something a little naughty or racy! It’s much more interesting and fun to make someone laugh with your funny Facebook status than be completely direct and crude.

Funniest status update 2 – Keep it really mixed

Example: A closed mouth gathers no foot.

I didn’t study English at University (or at any point in my life past kindergarten), so I do not profess myself to be some kind of grammatical expert…however Facebook (and especially status messages) are the reason behind more people using mixed metaphors than ever before. I realize that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to who invented the idioms and sayings of the world, but every day it seems another user massacres the English language in a way that should never be allowed. This example takes their idiocy and highlights it – and makes a funny point too!

Funniest status update 3 – Naughty but naughty (well, not really!)

Example: Chastity is curable, if detected early.

This funny Facebook status reminds me of my days at High School, when we would try to trick people into saying something foolish and then laugh at them. I didn’t have many friends, as you can probably guess. Anyway, it’s a funny joke – and naughty Facebook statuses always get a lot of ‘likes’ and comments, so go for it!

Funniest status update 4 – Dirty tricks

Example: I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

This sort of joke leaves little room for imagination, although the three seconds it takes for people to work it out will mean that you can gloat (for a very limited period). It conjures up images of a fat, old mechanic in a redneck US town, making excuses for his shoddy work. Well it does to me, anyway.

Funniest status update 5 – Show your flaws!

Example: There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.

The unfortunate truth about this is that I am one of the people in the third group. For real. If logic flaws make a good Facebook message, then this one is their king. I’ve seen this so many times that I’m starting to try to keep count of them just so that I can make a new website devoted to this Facebook status’s followers. We’ll see how it pans out.

Ok well, there are some of the greatest Facebook statuses of all time! As I said before, sometimes people ask me what is my favorite status of all time, and I tell them that one day I will reveal all – but suffice to say that it is not on this page (although these ones are all brilliant). I hope you enjoyed them anyway, and I look forward to you returning soon for more update message goodness! Don’t forget to add yourself to our RSS feed followers or leave a comment with your favourite Facebook statuses (and what you think should be included in the next list of the greatest Facebook statuses of all time!).