It is for this reason that today’s list of funny Facebook statuses will in face be more of a list of philosophical or thoughtful quotes, which, when you add them to your status will make people ponder more than just what you are eating for lunch or watching on TV. They’ll make your friends on Facebook stop and think – and they could even start a dialogue in your comments section.

So, without further ado, here are some intelligent Facebook quotes to get you through the rest of the day – thank me later!

Intelligent Facebook quotes

Intelligent Facebook quote number 1 – Confront the fakers in your life

Example: You can’t wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

Ever since Myspace (or maybe even Friendster before it) exploded in popularity, there has been a rise of a new breed of people who are determined to fake their way through life. I preach honesty and truthfulness in your Facebook status updates (what’s the point of lying about yourself?!), but some people are not quite as pure-minded and will lie, cheat and falsify information just to look or sound cool. This quote puts their situation nicely, as it says that if someone is faking (or in this case pretending to be asleep) then whatever you try to do to help them (like trying to wake them up) won’t work. I added this to my status once, and two people even sent me a message to my inbox asking if the status update was referring to them! Crazy!

Intelligent Facebook quote number 2 – The world is changing rapidly

Example: You cannot step into the same river twice.

I will talk later about the rapidly expanding Internet, but right now let’s look at this quote and how it pertains to the world. The origins of this quote are Chinese (or so I am told) and it refers to the flow of the water of a river. Rivers (just like the funny Facebook status) are a dangerous place, and at any time the current can pull you under the surface or whisk you away downstream. They are constantly moving, changing and evolving – which means that even though you may be familiar with a certain waterway – it is impossible to be sure about its characteristics because it is always changing! This can be looked at as a metaphor for any fast paced environment, including businesses, relationships and more. Add it to your Facebook status today and I guarantee you will provoke a debate or three!

Intelligent Facebook quote number 3 – If you’re not moving forward…

Example: It takes all the running you can do just to keep in the same place.

This quote reminds me of an old debate about the ‘Alexa Page Rank’ tool and toolbar. If you’re not familiar with Alexa, they are a web statistics company which track the most popular websites around the world (well, around the Internet) and list them on their site. They track millions and millions of sites and pageviews daily, and every webmaster’s goal is to break in to their top 100,000 (these sites receive special attention and more detailed statistics about the visitors to their sites. Sounds good, right? Well…in a way. My experience was that I had a website which entered the top 100,000, and I was so happy. It stayed there for a while (hovering around the 90,000 mark) and then slowly started to sink down the list. My traffic hadn’t changed, so why was I being demoted? Because due to the ever increasing size of the Internet, and the growing numbers of surfers every day, if you’re not constantly growing on a day-by-day basis, then you’re falling behind. This is true for a huge number of professions and organizations, not just webmasters, but it’s a valid observation for anyone to take in and think about.

Intelligent Facebook status number 4 – If you back someone into a corner…

Example: You can’t reason someone out of a position they didn’t reason themselves into.

People are motivated by different things – money, cars, women, men…but people very frequently act on their own behalf – or to put it another way, people are selfish. This fact is useful to know, because it means that usually if you can convince someone that doing something will be in their best interest, then you can usually get them to do it! This is logic – however, there are some occasions when logic doesn’t worry – like this one. If someone is, for whatever reason, stuck in a position which they have been forced into, then trying to use the same logical reasoning just won’t work – I know, I’ve tried it. The path towards getting them to stop doing whatever they are doing is much harder to go backwards down if they jumped into the position directly, or were pushed into it. I like to think that this intelligent Facebook status really goes some way to explaining why people are often irrational and strange, when we might expect them to be sensible. Who knows!

Ok, that’s enough pearls of wisdom for today, I hope you have a great day and rememeber to change your Facebook status often so that you can stay on the top of all of your friends’ home feeds! Check back soon for another look at an intelligent Facebook status or two!

So I needed a plan, and now I’m going to share this with you – how you can find hundreds of funny Facebook status ideas and make sure that you never have to write stupid drivel in your update message any more! Sounds good, right? Here are four different ways to spice up your statuses!

Facebook status idea number 1 – Think about your faults

Example: Steve is colour blind and thinks trying to solve a Rubik’s cube is pretty difficult…

In this case, Steve is colour blind (he sees everything not just in black and white but in varying shades of grey). A Rubik’s cube is, of course, very colourful (it usually has a red side, white side, blue side, green side, yellow side and orange side – but they can vary depending on which design you choose). The point is, if you do have some little problem or issue, you shouldn’t be embarrassed or try to hide it – you should laugh about it! It will make other people laugh too!

Facebook status idea number 2 – Think about quotes relevant to your life

Example: One man’s quiet is another man’s din.

I used to live in a small apartment in central London. We had neighbours on both sides, and also above and below. This caused a number of problems, including frequent complaints about the volume of my music (I did like to play some hip-hop from time to time, quite loud). The point was, that I loved that music – but the people who lived nearby did not. The quote in the Facebook status above is extremely relevant to this situation, and that means that it will make people who read it interested and probably ask you ‘what is that all about’?! That will lead to people ‘liking’ your status and will lead to comments and conversation – which is exactly what a funny Facebook status is all about! Funny Facebook status quotes are cool!

Facebook status idea number 3 – Try some keyboard tricks

Example: Steve ¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ

You might be a little confused when you read about this funny Facebook status idea – try looking at the text upside down! Is that cool? I think so! There are ways to write all text upside down, whatever you want (I will write a post later which includes information about exactly how to write text upside down in Facebook) – and you can come up with a huge amount of funny status comments! This one, the correct way up, says ‘Steve can finally do a handstand and use facebook at the same time!’ – but I’m sure you’ll be able to come up with a huge number of your own stauses!

Facebook status idea number 4 – More keyboard tricks and hoaxes

Example: Steve is uploading a virus ████████████ 83%

There are loads of keyboard tricks that you can use in your Facebook status – funny, cool, crazy and strange. Check this one out – it’s a hoax which can trick your friends into thinking that you’re uploading a virus into their account and they can’t do anything about it! Obviously, you’re not really uploading anything – but it looks that way! That’s one of the coolest keyboard tricks I know of, but I’m sure you can come up with more (you can change the text to say anything you want – maybe just ‘loading’ or ‘downloading sexy movies’!). Anyway, experiment, try your own, but overall just have fun with them!

Well, that’s it. The bottom line regarding your messages to your friends on Facebook is to be creative, to think about what you’re writing and to make an effort to not just write frequently, but to also try to make your friends think about what you’re writing! It’s meant to be a fun form of communication, so try to make it exactly that!

Remember the four big funny Facebook status ideas – faults, quotes and keyboard tricks. Go for it!

A great philosopher (and good friend of mine) once said:

Small people talk about themselves, People talk about other people, Big people talk about ideas

…and this idea holds true for clever Facebook status updates. I have a lot of friends on Facebook, and the majority of them either don’t update their status themselves, or write about the deadliest of boring subjects. But the other 5% are the the ones with lots of ideas for Facebook status updates. These are the people who I follow closely.

Clever Facebook status

What type of person puts quotes by philosophers in their status update?

I would say the biggest demographic would be students, but there are also a number of ‘free thinkers’ who like to put thoughtful messages there too. I know a Doctor who specialises in treating Mesothelioma (a strange type of cancer) who puts a different quote from a different philosopher in his status every morning before work – now that’s dedication!

What are some examples of clever Facebook statuses?

Ok, let’s look at some examples of a clever Facebook status. They’re not complicated, but they can get quite deep – so I’m going to guide you through them. Get ready!

Clever Facebook status number 1: Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

At first, this one sounds like it doesn’t make sense. If you’re seeking the truth, surely that means that you don’t really know what you’re talking about? Isn’t that some sort of strange paradox? And doubt people who know the truth already? Sounds weird. If this were a philosophy class, I think we could probably dissect this statement for hours, but in terms of a clever Facebook status I think it’s trying to tell us that perhaps those people who claim to know it all, probably are the ones that should not be trusted. Just like I just told you how to interpret this quote. So watch out for me!

Clever Facebook status number 2: I am a part of all that I have met.

This quote is quite beautiful, and it speaks to the heart of human nature. We can learn from everyone we meet, every person that comes into our lives can affect us and holds knowledge within them that we can learn from and improve from.

Clever Facebook status number 3: The obscure we see eventually.  The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer.

This feels a little bit like the old phrase ‘you can’t see the wood for the trees’, but it seems like in a witty Facebook status context it’s trying to let you know that sometimes what might be totally obvious and is sitting right next to you all along, is sometimes difficult to work out. I once had this problem with Mathematics in High School, so I can relate completely to what they’re saying.

Clever Facebook status number 4: If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?

Ah, the luck of the Irish! I guess if you find the lucky four-leaf clover, and you think it’s a three-leaf (or five-leaf, I guess) then you’re probably not going to be able to channel your new-found good luck into anything productive anyway. If you use this as your clever Facebook status, you might also deal with the number of stupid people on your Facebook friends list replying ‘what’s a four-leaf clover?’.

Clever Facebook status number 5: When the student is ready, the master appears.

Finally, one of my favourite Facebook statuses and what I think is a really good way to motivate people on all sorts of social networking sites. A lot of people have issues with enthusiasm in their work, especially motivation to get stuff done and not procrastinate. Ok, perhaps they shouldn’t be surfing on Facebook if they have trouble procrastinating, but still… So, when they read this message – that preparation is the key to finding the right path and to establishing a successful life – they will take it in their stride and run with it.

Ok, so the task was to find some clever Facebook statuses, and we did that. These ones will get you started, and I’ll be posting more and more as the days and weeks go on, so stay tuned! If you want to know which one I think is the best one…well…log on to read my clever Facebook status!