Maybe – but I think that a lot of this is people realising that the global economic downturn is over! Everyone is all about making money right now, and so they’re planning how to spend it. I’ve seen a lot of funny Facebook statuses in the last week or so with questions about where people should go on their breaks – ‘Hawaii or Egypt?’ ‘London or New York’? I always leave a comment and tell them that they shouldn’t plan to go too far away – they might be dead by then. It usually causes a nice reaction.

Anyway, today’s funny updates are all nice little puns or ironic jokes. This type of witty Facebook update is perfect because it makes you laugh a little bit, and usually at other people’s expense. There’s nothin better than someone else being the fall guy!

Funny Facebook status updates

Funny Facebook status update number one – I hope you’re the same size

Example: Before you criticize someone, try to walk a mile in their shoes. That way, by the time you say something bad about them, you’re one mile away and they’ve got no shoes on.

I can’t stand people who tell me to walk in other people’s shoes. What the hell does it mean? It is usually said in response to a criticism or comment that I’ve made about someone – but who are they to assume that I haven’t taken their ’shoes’ (aka condition of their being) into consideration. Of course I have! I just want to criticize them! This Facebook update gives a great twist at the end – I would love to be able to steal the shoes (and pride) of the person I’m complaining about and then run off!

Funny Facebook status update number two – You’re (not) special

Example: Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

There was a time when Myspace was covered wall to wall with messages from people telling eachother how unique and special and nice they were. Admittedly this was from people who were generally around 15 years old and female, but it was one of the factors which led to Myspace’s downfall (the ridiculous amount of fluff and useless information) and Facebook’s rise (it seemed to be more ‘real’ and useful). I really want to use this funny Facebook status update on a few people’s walls today (or maybe I will reply to their comments with it) and see what they say – it’s the perfect rememedy to cutesy crap!

Funny Facebook status update number three – You can’t take it with you

Example: Where there’s a will, there are 500 relatives.

I love money, and I love free money. Ok, I’m not wishing anyone ill health, but still it’s a nice little bonus if a relative dies and you suddenly find that you never need to work again! That hasn’t happened to me yet, but I have a friend who once wrote on his Facebook status that he had won the lottery – he had a LOT of comments and sudden friend requests! It turned out he was a lying swine and he had done nothing of the sort, but it shows that when opportunity knocks, there are usually a LOT of people who are willing to open the door for him (on your behalf).

Funny Facebook status update number four – ‘Lazy’ means ‘win’ in French

Example: They say hard work never hurt anyone, but why take the chance?

I am firmly of the opinion that China will overtake America as the #1 developed nation within fifteen years. Why? It’s not because of superior intellect, or superior products (hell no), it’s because the Chinese work ethic is insane. They work hard, all the time, all day. Heads down, do the job, finish the job, go home, sleep, do the same thing again the next day. If you put 1000 Chinese people in the USA and told them to work, in five years at least 5000 would be millionaires. I, on the other hand, would certainly be in the other 500 who decided to quit my job and go and sit on the beach. It’s not a bad life, and there’s no stress involved. No need to take a chance, is there?

Funny Facebook status update number five – Be careful with your head

Example: I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Having an open mind is a real buzzword at the moment, and it really doesn’t mean anything except ‘you should think the way I think’. Which is stupid. Think in your own way! It’s not about having an open or closed mind (and when it comes to Facebook statuses, there is nothing in the TOS about having an ‘open mind’, that’s for sure). Write from your heart, and if you don’t have one then write from your brain! And if you don’t have one, go back to sleep.

Funny Facebook status update number six – The sad truth

Example: When you’re right, nobody remembers. When you’re wrong, nobody forgets.

I made a stupid comment in one of my first meetings in my new job. I was full of energy and enthusiasm, and I wanted to make a good first impression on my new bosses and colleagues. I didn’t know anything about the business that I had just started working in, and I believe what I did was fall into a newbie trap – one which they have constantly reminded me of throughout my time in the organization. Since then, of course, I have made a huge amount of money for the company, but nobody cares about that! They just remember my faults. It reminds me about the person who updated his Facbeook status on the first day of work with a message that said something like ‘This new job is easy!’ – his boss read it and doubled his workload. We live and learn!

Ok, that’s your bumper crop of Funny Facebook status updates for today – I hope you enjoyed them and if you have any more that you’d like to share, why not leave them in the comments! We’d love to get your feedback.

It’s pretty amazing to think that you can be so close to someone for so long (like buddies from High School) and then not talk with them for years and years – and then when you see them again you are reminded about how cool they are and you just feel ‘normal’. That is definitely one of the biggest advantages of the recent ‘Facebook boom’ which has gripped many countries across the world.

Communication is so important, and so I decided in today’s reflection to consider friendship when looking at funny Facebook status quotes. What do I mean by ‘consider friendship’? Well, let’s look at how some more famous scholars have reflected on the concept in the past – and how we can use them for our status updates!

Funny Facebook status quotes

Funny Facebook status quote one – Never a dull moment
Example: A true friend stabs you in the front

There is such a wide variety of humor in this quote, I don’t know where to begin! Of course, the idea of someone ‘stabbing you in the back’ is not new – and I have been stabbed many times by people who I thought were my friends but turned out to be disloyal and petty people, so what better way to let your friends know that you’re keeping an eye on them by putting this funny Facebook status quote?! Honesty is certainly the best policy in a friendship (as the Mexicans say: honesty in accounting leads to a long friendship), so next time you have something to say to someone, why not try to let them know to their face!

Funny Facebook status quote two – Never a truer word spoken
Example: Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate

The sad truth of haters – they never die, they just hide. One friend of mine used to run a popular blog talking about food and the local restaurants near the area where I lived. He became relatively famous (a local celebrity), and then people started leaving offensive messages on his blog in the comments section. He tried to ignore these people, but they continued (even going so far as to register fake email accounts so they could leave more spam and abuse!). Eventually he gave up blogging as his traffic fell (that would be his friends leaving)…but the enemies just continued their assault. This is a kindly reminder that we should all heed – watch out for the snakes in the grass and if you can avoid making enemies, it’s much better than keeping them around!

Funny Facebook status quote three – Money makes the world go around
Example: Money can’t buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy

Facebook used to the be a website for rich people – nearly everyone who used it was college educated or higher, and therefore they were not the ones at the bottom fo the food chain by any means. This funny Facebook status idea comes from the notion that true friendship can not be bough, but actually money can do a lot to help you avoid the worst types of people (the kind that you really hate!). Is it true? Put it into your Facebook status and see how many comments you get! They will probably all be from people who think that you’re talking about them!

Funny Facebook status quote four – Eggsellent humour
Example: A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.

This is my favourite funny Facebook status idea about friendship, because it involves a great pun on the word ‘cracked’ and has a good message behind it. Most of my friends think that I’m a little bit strange, weird, abnormal or ‘cracked’, but I hope that they deep down realize that I’m an OK type of person! If they do, then they will see this Facebook status update and ‘Like’ it (or maybe they will do this if they think I’m an egghead?!). either way, try it out.

Well that’s the end of today’s ideas for a new funny Facebook status – did you find any that you will use? Try them out and see how many people comment and ‘like’ your statuses – you might be surprised!

So I needed a plan, and now I’m going to share this with you – how you can find hundreds of funny Facebook status ideas and make sure that you never have to write stupid drivel in your update message any more! Sounds good, right? Here are four different ways to spice up your statuses!

Facebook status idea number 1 – Think about your faults

Example: Steve is colour blind and thinks trying to solve a Rubik’s cube is pretty difficult…

In this case, Steve is colour blind (he sees everything not just in black and white but in varying shades of grey). A Rubik’s cube is, of course, very colourful (it usually has a red side, white side, blue side, green side, yellow side and orange side – but they can vary depending on which design you choose). The point is, if you do have some little problem or issue, you shouldn’t be embarrassed or try to hide it – you should laugh about it! It will make other people laugh too!

Facebook status idea number 2 – Think about quotes relevant to your life

Example: One man’s quiet is another man’s din.

I used to live in a small apartment in central London. We had neighbours on both sides, and also above and below. This caused a number of problems, including frequent complaints about the volume of my music (I did like to play some hip-hop from time to time, quite loud). The point was, that I loved that music – but the people who lived nearby did not. The quote in the Facebook status above is extremely relevant to this situation, and that means that it will make people who read it interested and probably ask you ‘what is that all about’?! That will lead to people ‘liking’ your status and will lead to comments and conversation – which is exactly what a funny Facebook status is all about! Funny Facebook status quotes are cool!

Facebook status idea number 3 – Try some keyboard tricks

Example: Steve ¡ǝɯıʇ ǝɯɐs ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooqǝɔɐɟ ǝsn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ

You might be a little confused when you read about this funny Facebook status idea – try looking at the text upside down! Is that cool? I think so! There are ways to write all text upside down, whatever you want (I will write a post later which includes information about exactly how to write text upside down in Facebook) – and you can come up with a huge amount of funny status comments! This one, the correct way up, says ‘Steve can finally do a handstand and use facebook at the same time!’ – but I’m sure you’ll be able to come up with a huge number of your own stauses!

Facebook status idea number 4 – More keyboard tricks and hoaxes

Example: Steve is uploading a virus ████████████ 83%

There are loads of keyboard tricks that you can use in your Facebook status – funny, cool, crazy and strange. Check this one out – it’s a hoax which can trick your friends into thinking that you’re uploading a virus into their account and they can’t do anything about it! Obviously, you’re not really uploading anything – but it looks that way! That’s one of the coolest keyboard tricks I know of, but I’m sure you can come up with more (you can change the text to say anything you want – maybe just ‘loading’ or ‘downloading sexy movies’!). Anyway, experiment, try your own, but overall just have fun with them!

Well, that’s it. The bottom line regarding your messages to your friends on Facebook is to be creative, to think about what you’re writing and to make an effort to not just write frequently, but to also try to make your friends think about what you’re writing! It’s meant to be a fun form of communication, so try to make it exactly that!

Remember the four big funny Facebook status ideas – faults, quotes and keyboard tricks. Go for it!