Now, when I post, people listen! I’ve noticed that since I started thinking about what I write (and posting funnier and more hilarious Facebook status updates) my friends have suddenly become more talkative – they ‘like’ my statuses very often (and comment on them), which means that the next time they log on they see more info from my home feed! That’s good news for me, and it means I can stay in touch with more of my Facebook friends!

So, what golden nuggets do I have on this Saturday evening? I decided to pick some great Facebook status quotes which you can use as your own – and which I can guarantee will have a lasting effect on your online popularity! Either that, or will make a few people chuckle at your wit and humour. Either way, everyone’s happy!

Funny Facebook statuses

Saturday’s funny Facebook status – Number 1 – Practice what your preach!

Example: Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

I used to have a doctor, and he said that you should never put anything smaller than your elbow into your ear to clean it. I think he was joking, but he did have the hairiest ears I’d ever seen, so I’m not sure. It was a case of practising what you preach, and I believe almost 100% in it! I used to work as an editor in a magazine, and there is nothing more frustrating than not proofreading correctly – and there’s nothing funnier (or should that be punnier?) than putting a mistake in your Facebook status and making people laugh about it!

Saturday’s funny Facebook status – Number 2 – The truer the better

Example: A fool and his money are soon partying.

Sadly, this clever Facebook status is a perfect representation of my life. As soon as my paycheck hits my account, it’s already spent on rent, bills, clothes, alcohol…but that’s nothing that a witty Facebook status can’t fix! Playing on the old phrase ‘a fool and his money are soon parted’, this classic Facebook quote is great for reminding people that we’re here for a good time, not a long time.

Saturday’s funny Facebook status – Number 3 – Clever or die!

Example: A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Ok so this might be a really witty Facebook status update or it might be a complete failure – it really depends on your target audience. I wrote this on the notice board of my office the other day, and more than 50% of the staff said either ‘what does that mean?’ or ‘I don’t get it’. That’s ok though, because you can just sit in the moral majority and smile smugly as you work out who your intelligent friends are and who the dunces are…it won’t be hard!

Saturday’s funny Facebook status – Number 4 – Make ‘em laugh!

Example: I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

Final status, final pun – it’s direct, it’s funny and it’s one that needs repeating 100 times! I think that I might do a whole series on this type of pun – the double meaning, one-liner jokes which fit perfectly into the category of funny Facebook status! I have a colleague at work who does nothing but try to fit this type of witty one-liner into his everyday speech, but unfortunately he always leaves slightly too much of a time-gap before he says anything…so everyone knows he’s about to drop a joke! Well, you don’t need to be so obvious! Paste it today!

Well, that’s all for this Saturday night – I know that the ‘FB generation’ don’t really spend too much time online over the weekend, so I look forward to you visiting next week and trying to fill your time with thinking up more funny Facebook statuses!

A great philosopher (and good friend of mine) once said:

Small people talk about themselves, People talk about other people, Big people talk about ideas

…and this idea holds true for clever Facebook status updates. I have a lot of friends on Facebook, and the majority of them either don’t update their status themselves, or write about the deadliest of boring subjects. But the other 5% are the the ones with lots of ideas for Facebook status updates. These are the people who I follow closely.

Clever Facebook status

What type of person puts quotes by philosophers in their status update?

I would say the biggest demographic would be students, but there are also a number of ‘free thinkers’ who like to put thoughtful messages there too. I know a Doctor who specialises in treating Mesothelioma (a strange type of cancer) who puts a different quote from a different philosopher in his status every morning before work – now that’s dedication!

What are some examples of clever Facebook statuses?

Ok, let’s look at some examples of a clever Facebook status. They’re not complicated, but they can get quite deep – so I’m going to guide you through them. Get ready!

Clever Facebook status number 1: Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

At first, this one sounds like it doesn’t make sense. If you’re seeking the truth, surely that means that you don’t really know what you’re talking about? Isn’t that some sort of strange paradox? And doubt people who know the truth already? Sounds weird. If this were a philosophy class, I think we could probably dissect this statement for hours, but in terms of a clever Facebook status I think it’s trying to tell us that perhaps those people who claim to know it all, probably are the ones that should not be trusted. Just like I just told you how to interpret this quote. So watch out for me!

Clever Facebook status number 2: I am a part of all that I have met.

This quote is quite beautiful, and it speaks to the heart of human nature. We can learn from everyone we meet, every person that comes into our lives can affect us and holds knowledge within them that we can learn from and improve from.

Clever Facebook status number 3: The obscure we see eventually.  The completely obvious, it seems, takes longer.

This feels a little bit like the old phrase ‘you can’t see the wood for the trees’, but it seems like in a witty Facebook status context it’s trying to let you know that sometimes what might be totally obvious and is sitting right next to you all along, is sometimes difficult to work out. I once had this problem with Mathematics in High School, so I can relate completely to what they’re saying.

Clever Facebook status number 4: If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?

Ah, the luck of the Irish! I guess if you find the lucky four-leaf clover, and you think it’s a three-leaf (or five-leaf, I guess) then you’re probably not going to be able to channel your new-found good luck into anything productive anyway. If you use this as your clever Facebook status, you might also deal with the number of stupid people on your Facebook friends list replying ‘what’s a four-leaf clover?’.

Clever Facebook status number 5: When the student is ready, the master appears.

Finally, one of my favourite Facebook statuses and what I think is a really good way to motivate people on all sorts of social networking sites. A lot of people have issues with enthusiasm in their work, especially motivation to get stuff done and not procrastinate. Ok, perhaps they shouldn’t be surfing on Facebook if they have trouble procrastinating, but still… So, when they read this message – that preparation is the key to finding the right path and to establishing a successful life – they will take it in their stride and run with it.

Ok, so the task was to find some clever Facebook statuses, and we did that. These ones will get you started, and I’ll be posting more and more as the days and weeks go on, so stay tuned! If you want to know which one I think is the best one…well…log on to read my clever Facebook status!