Funny Facebook status
People use this website to find a funny Facebook status – and I provide them with this service (and lots of funny statuses!). Some people don’t like the way I explain each status and tell them why they are important to me, but to be honest I don’t mind people disagreeing with my opinions – just click away from the page! I really don’t mind.
Today I’m bringing four more fantastic update messages for you to use in your home feed, which I can almost guarantee people will comment on them and press ‘like’! How can I guarantee this? Because I’ve used all of them myself – and these ones are the types that people will read them and then think for a couple of seconds, and then break out laughing. I’ve had a couple of friends tell me that when they read one of my funny Facebook status messages in their office, they laughed out loud and were warned by their manager! That is what I’m talking about! Ok, on with the updates!
Funny Facebook status
Funny Facebook status one – The old advice is the best
Example: Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.
If you ever need to find a funny Facebook status, it’s best to ask people who are experts in one-liners. Who, in your life, is the best person at funny lines? For me, it used to be my Grandfather. He used to come out with some of the funniest one-liners I have ever heard – and there were often times when he was completely inappropriate with the things that he said. Was it his fault? Probably not – his mind started to wander by the time he was at his funniest (and most offensive). Anyway, he never used Facebook, but if he had done then he would certainly have used this funny Facebook status, because it was his favourite phrase in the world! Nearly every meal that we would have together would end in him looking at me, putting his finger on his lips and whispering ‘it’s better to remain silent you know….and for some people to think you’re a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt! It means that sometimes you are as stupid as people think, so don’t prove it to people! I’ve heard other people say it when people have said something really stupid or inappropriate – but I think it’s a first to use it in a funny Facebook status. Why not try it and see if anyone gives you any ‘likes’ or comments?
Funny Facebook status two – The divine comedy
Example: God must love stupid people. He made SO many.
I’m not hugely religious, but I believe that somewhere out there somewhere there must be some special power which created the heaven and earth – I mean, even if the ‘big bang’ theory is true and we are all developed from bacteria and tiny cells, then who created the substances for that big bang? Usually, I wouldn’t get so philosophical during my analysis of a new funny Facebook status, but for this one I’m making an exception because it deals with a subject very close to my heart – stupid people! I have watched many religious programs where people often repeat again and again about how everything God does is perfect and a miracle – which proves this status update to be the gospel truth – God must love stupid people because he made a huge number of them (and seemingly surrounded me with them!).
Funny Facebook status three – Messing with the MAN
Example: A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
I used to have huge financial problems before I realised that I was never going to be a millionaire – I know that sounds strange but let me elaborate: before I realised that I wasn’t going to be rich, I would spend a lot of money on trying to get rich – selling useless products, making websites with get rich quick schemes and such – but now I am so relaxed in my life and my financial situation that I don’t need to try to get more and more all the time. However, there was a time when I feared entering the bank more than going to the dentist. I mean, what other institution makes you site for hours and looks through the entire history of your life before telling you that ‘sorry we can’t help you in your current circumstances’. It’s terrible! If you’ve ever been in this situation (and I’m sure a lot of you have!) then why not put this as your funny Facebook status update – I bet a lot of your friends will be able to feel your pain!
Funny Facebook status four – Memories of a bygone era
Example: The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
What is wrong with parents these days? It seems they only have one intention when naming their children (or at least when the give their children a middle name) and that is to humiliate and/or disturb their children for their entire life. My middle name is ‘Lesley’ – a strange name because it can actually be a man’s name or a woman’s name. This led to huge amounts of bullying at school and other children laughing at me almost constantly (I was lucky that there were no funny Facebook statuses around when I was a child, or I would have been the butt of a LOT of jokes!). The only time anyone actually used my name for any purpose (except to take the mickey out of me) was, as this funny Facebook status update message says, when my parents were angry with me! They would look at me, with a slight growl in their voice, and then shout out **** Lesley ****, will you get out here this instant! Whenever I heard those words in that order, the hair would stand up on my neck and I would know that there was some real bad times ahead. I’m pretty glad that I don’t ever need to hear them again (well I might, but I’m now nine inches taller than my Dad, so I doubt he would do anything about it!).
As I mentioned above, use these hilarious Facebook status quotes and I can assure you that you will have comments and likes by the end of the day. Remember to stop by again and check out another funny Facebook status or two tomorrow!